Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Just Stuff

Well I had work today everything went fine.

The more time I spend alone with myself the more I learn about myself....Just a random thought of mine.

There is this guy at my work his name is James, I've always noticed how cute he is, but today he smiled the most boyish and mischievous smile I've ever seen. His smile made me smile. He's tall with dark short hair. He's handsome he looks like he might be in his late twenties early thirties. Overall he's a Cutie and he definitely stands out.......I guess a smile is what stands out to me the most.

Sometimes I feel like there is not a solution. When I get overwhelmed with life's little problems I feel like, "this is it, welcome to the rest of my life accept it because it wont get any better." I'm not really sure how to cope with that feeling. Its almost like this life is a dead end. When ever it hits me my first thought is to run away to a new place, but I never leave. I wish for once that I could. I want so much the feeling of freeness and spontaneity.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Looking Back Down

Well my friend had her interview and long story short you have to have a car to really do this job because it requires traveling and I don't have one so I'm not even going to waste my time and theirs going on the interview.

Things are looking down again. I might have to actually work the shift with my boss. I really don't want to. She already has a preconceived notion of me.

We are finally going to the movies to see At World's End today. I hope nothing comes up I really really want something to smile about and Johnny Depp certainly makes a girl smile. : ) 

 .....He's so beautiful.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Things Might Be Looking Up

My job situation is not getting any better. I now have a shift with the boss. She purposely planned it. She has one and only one time to come at me the wrong way. I will quit on the spot.

On a much much brighter note I have a job interview Wednesday at a marketing company. I'm told that if it goes well the interview can last up to 2 and a half hours. So my fingers are crossed for that. The job pays 15 dollars an hour (way more than what I'm getting now) and no experience is necessary. Sounds like my kind of job. My friend, the one who is also job hunting, has an interview with them too. Hopefully we both get it.

If I get this job I'm leaving the hotel without notice. I just found out that another one of the workers is leaving too. Her reason is that she found a better paying job. So now I have the feeling that the boss is going to need all the workers she can get and when she needs them most no one is going to be there.

I really hope this interview goes well so I don't have to work another week at the place I'm at now. Cross your fingers for me.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Job Troubles

So I got in trouble with my boss and apparently my hours were cut because my customer service skills received bad reviews. She didn't say this was the reason to my hours being cut, but I know this is why. Her getting on my case for this obviously made me mad, but I said nothing I just listened. She was only going off of what she was told because I've never worked with her.

The main reason I'm mad about this is because she was talking to me like I don't do anything at that place. It made me feel like crap because I'm always on time, I never complain, when someone calls in I'm usually the one who takes over their shift and when someone slacks off on their part I'm the one who picks up the slack without complaint. So for her to come at me like that really made me mad. Especially since I know that I am never rude to anyone that comes into that place and I always speak to every guest.

So as of that phone call I am back in the job search world. I'm not going to quit until I actually have another job. When I do get another job I have the mind to stop showing up without notice. That's wrong and I know it, but I truly believe that, that situation could have been handled better. I could tell her how I feel but I know for a fact that my attitude would get the best of me.

My friend is having the same problems with her job and boss too. So we are job hunting together.

Friday we have plans to go to the movies to see Pirates 3. That was supposed to be my day off, but once again I'm covering someone else's shift.

On a happier note my mom told me that we might be relocating to another state. I'm so happy about that. I can wait to leave this behind. I hope it actually happens. I wouldn't mind moving to New York.

Monday, May 21, 2007

My Weekend

I went to see Shrek 3 on Friday. It was an okay movie. I like the fact that Justin Timberlake was apart of the cast. I think he did good.

I had to get up early on Saturday for work. I was tired my whole shift. On top of that my hours are still cut. If it happens a third week in a row then I'll ask about it.

I want a new job. I'm not sure I like the fact that the hours are different every single week. I want a set schedule. I'm back on the job search.

I also want to buy an exercise machine or go get another tattoo. The exercise machine would be for my legs and butt. The tattoo would probably be a re color of the one on my wrist. I'm not even sure they can do it. Its already pink I just want it to be changed to either blue or purple. Is it possible?

On Saturday I watched a movie called Mr. Holland's Opus, it was pretty good. The whole dedication ceremony at the end was very touching. I also watched Notes On a Scandal. I knew what it was about before hand, but even though I was expecting the events I was still very flabbergasted. Overall it was a good movie with great performances.

I dyed my hair on Sunday. Its Jet Black now. I've had it this color a few times before and I decided that it was time to go back to it.

My summer has already began and I can tell that the whole thing is going to suck. All my summers do. Me and my friends were talking about planning a road trip, but we've never talked about it with an actual attempt in doing it. So once again I'm in for another sucky summer. Even if I wanted to go on vacation I couldn't because as I said my work schedule always varies.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Its Friday

I had work yesterday. My coworker did something he's always wanted to do, he went out on a limb. In short, He was rejected. He's hurt and bitter about the whole thing, but who wouldn't be. He told me that he was going to give up on the whole thing. I told him that he shouldn't. He's really passionate about it and I truly think he would get far if he continued to work at it.

I met a guy yesterday. He approached me while I was sitting in the lobby waiting for my shift to start. His name is Cooper. I'm not at all in any way attracted to him. I was trying to let him know that I wasn't interested without being rude or impolite about it, but he just wasn't catching on.

I also saw Justin...still beautiful. I saw a little of his personality he seems cool, but I think I'm over him.

So far my favorite part in this movie is the part is where Scarlett Johansson takes off her head piece and Colin Firth peaks around the corner to see what she looks like without it. (Girl With a Pearl Earring)


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Nothing Much

I was listening to a song called Secret last night by Maroon 5 from their first album and there's a line in the song that goes, "I know I don't know you, but I want you so bad." That line in a small way relates to how I feel about one of the guys at work, whose name is unknown. The only difference is that I don't want him in the physical sexual way. I only want to know him. He's so...mysterious, its oddly intriguing.

I'm watching General Hospital, which is almost off and although I love their drama its a little frustrating how thing seem to never work out, but hey its a soap opera. Since I'm on the topic I want Jason to step up and claim his baby he deserves a little happiness. He sacrifices so much.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Random Stuff

So I had to work yesterday. It went okay...considering. I saw my supervisor she wasn't as annoying as she usually is. My hours were cut. I think it's because my boss might be under the impression that finals are this week instead of last week.

I also saw Justin--as I said I would--He's just as beautiful as ever. He gave me that winning smile. I recently discovered that he doesn't use that smile as often as I think he should. Oh well its his prerogative. Every time I see his smile it sends a rush of heat through my veins....Well maybe its not that dramatic, but you get the picture.

Another thing that happened at work was that the second most beautiful person walking planet earth walked into the hotel. I'll probably never see him again. Most people I see are from out of town. Seeing as how I work for a hotel I meet people from all over, then I never see them again.

I also went out on a limb and flirted with the bellhop guy for a good portion of the night. I didn't start it. I'm too reserved to initiate something of that nature, but I did participate once I knew what was going on. It'll probably never happen again. Its the story of my life, nothing ever goes the way I want.

On to different topics. My friend only has a couple of weeks left here in this city. She's leaving for a job. She'll be back before the end of the summer, but she also goes away for school so we hardly ever get to see her. Our goal is for the three of us to hang out as much as we can before her departure. Its hard because we all have conflicting schedules. So we'll see how is works out.

As far as wether or not people can change I'm going to take a risk and say that they cant and don't completely change. Once a cheater always a cheater. Once a rapist always a rapist...and so on. This might be my mind set until proven otherwise. (not intended to offend anyone in any way)

Monday, May 14, 2007


Well it's Monday. I hate Mondays, but since I don't have school I hate them a little less.

I have to work today. I think my supervisor is going to be there I really dislike her. I'm not sure why, but her presence's annoys the heck out of me.The good thing about me having to work today is that I get to see Justin.

There are movies with females in them who are forward in what they want and most times they succeed. I bring it up because at times I wish I was a little more forward. If I were a little more like that then I could tell him exactly what I wanted to do to him. I still don't know much about him. He could have kids and a fiancé for all I know.

For once in my life I want to be carefree and be able to let loose. I want to act on impulse. I know it will never happen. I always play it safe, unfortunately.

Saturday, May 12, 2007


Now that school is officially out I don't really have much to do, except work. I like it that way. As soon as my boss finds out that I got out earlier than the date I told her she's going to start scheduling me earlier and no one wants that. I most certainly do not.

I went to the movies last night with two friends. We saw Blades of Glory. I thought it was stupidly hilarious and I'm not at all ashamed to admit that Will Ferrell was looking a tad sexy in that film. I wouldn't mind seeing it again.

I'll be 20 in July. It seems so far away but it feels like it was just yesterday that I turned 19. The reason I bring it up is because I feel a little old. I feel like there are things in life that I should have accomplished. Honestly, I'm a little lost. I attend college without a clue as to what I want to do, but hey that's life...right?

Yesterday I was just sitting around thinking about if its capable for a person to change who they are by changing what they do. I came up with a few theories but I'm still a little unsure about it.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Random Thoughts

I got paid yesterday. I'm happy about that. It puts me one step closer to a car, but not close enough I'm afraid.

Today is my last day of school. I have one more final and I'm out. I just finished my philosophy final, which was easier than I expected it to be. I'm still a little shocked about it. I have an English final at one today. That one shouldn't be too hard.

There is this guy at my job who I swear is the most beautiful person that I've seen to ever walk this planet. His smile is...a thing of beauty. Its really something special. His name is Justin. Everyday I see him I fight the urge to tell him how beautiful I think he is. I don't really know him well enough to even begin to predict his response, so for now I'll keep it to myself.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

First Entry

As you can see this is my first entry, I'm not quite sure about what I should say. I'll start off by telling a little about myself.

My name is Jessica, I'm 19 and I was born and raised in Missouri. Yes, Missouri is as boring as it sounds. Not much really goes on here, its quite sad really.

I am college student. I'm not sure what I want to be but my fingers are crossed in hopes of figuring it out soon. I also work part time at a hotel, but more on that later.

My thing is music. I don't sing or play, but I do enjoy the work of those who do. My all time favorite band is Matchbox Twenty. I cant seem to get enough of them. I hope the rumors of them getting back together are true.