Monday, July 2, 2007

'Living'

At times I feel as if I'm out of emotions. I'm not quite sure how to really explain it so I'm going to leave it at that.

My head hurts.

I hate when people go out of their way to make promises that we both know they're not going to keep. I'd rather the person not say anything at all...ever.

I don't like what I'm becoming or what I am so far. I don't really live life. I'm just kind of there. I'm the only person I know who just doesn't care about anything. Seeing as how we're on the subject how does one know when they have truly lived?

If I had to guess it would be when one has loved and loss. I'm sure there's more to it than that but who knows.

As much as I hate people I wouldn't mind meeting some new ones in another town/city/state of course. I want to meet someone who could possibly contribute something to my life and hopefully I could do the same for them.

Its summer I should find a fling of some sort....yeah right not in this lifetime. Nothing exciting or risky ever happens to me. I'm sadly becoming used to it.

I think I might go ahead and try to go to a university for school. We'll see how it works out. The worse case scenario would be me stuck back at a community college, which I hate. With my 'luck' I wont be going anywhere, but I might as well try it. I don't think its possible to feel any lower than I already do.

If I haven't mentioned before my friend is having her 20th birthday party tomorrow. From what Ihear its going to be pretty big. We'll see if I find any ounce of fun in it at all. Its hard to have fun or to find fun when you're not happy.

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