Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Today I realized how much my life sucks. Its makes me wonder why. Why school why work why everything.

I try to do things right or as I should, every now and then I get off track, I mean we all do, but this time I feel as if I cant even see the track. Where is it? I don't know how to get it back to good or even a little more than bareable.

I was talking to a friend and he says that that's how is life is and that you bend before your break...or something or the other. Whatever he meant it made since for a few hours...then life got worse. Imagine that.

I want to scream...loudly, but in the end I have no one to blame but myself for how things are.

Oh well this is the life I know. Its cheerless, depressing, stupid, joyless, frustrating, hopeless, bleak, daunting, oppressive, disheartening, discouraging, sad, heartbreaking, and somber.

Time for a change...a big one. Where do I start?

So about my new job. I don't really like it. Big surprise there. The mood there is kind of stuck up. The old lady's that work there mean mug me. I really miss working at Sally's. Kohl's is stupid. I was hired to cover two departments. That means Recovery, 5 5's, Ad set(sometimes), stock and take customer calls. I also work on the register. There's a lot to be done there and time goes so SLOW I can never get out of there soon enough.

Until Next Time....Jessica.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Right now on the show they are talking about how women are pressured into getting married in their twenties. I guess I can see that happening, but it doesn't stop it from being stupid. I should be surprised at the influences the media and all that has on people, but I'm not. That, I think says something in itself.

So about work, its boring. I want to say I hate it, but I guess I don't. Its boring and I like boring at work that means I don't have to do much, but I hate working the registers it makes me mad. I don't want to go back. I should probably suck it up because I don't really work as much as I used to.

I need to up my workout routine. I feel like I'm letting myself go. Wait no I don't. I feel like Im going to be 21 in seven months and I need to look extra fly for my future nightlife. I almost cant wait, but its not like I have a choice in the matter.

I don't usually make resolutions, but my friend gave me some ideas for one and it was to be more positive. I'm not sure how I'm doing thus far because I guess I no longer realize I'm being negative.

I feel like I need to make some changes in my life in order to mature to another level. I feel like I should cut some ties in order to do me. There's a person in my life whom I feel like the relationship is no longer going to work out. I don't have it completely thought out yet, but I'll let you know.

Jessica.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

I like this song a lot. I listen to it all the time. I too feel like I want to get away from it all. I want to leave and never come back.

Now that I think about it. I question myself and why I cant just leave and be done with it. What am I waiting for? When one leaves to get away from it all it isn't planned is it? They just pack up and leave to start a new life somewhere else. I want to do that. Maybe I'm scared to.

As far as school goes I failed my history class. That really upset me only because I did all that work. I'm so over school. I just don't want to do it anymore.

Life is hard. There are so many things that I have yet to experience. I'm 20 and I haven't the slightest clue as to what it means to truly be dependant on no one but my self. I mean I feel that I'm emotionally and mentally ready, but financially I'm not. I guess I can place that blame on myself, but I just wish I was better prepared for the trials of life and all things of the like. I just feel like I'm behind.

This is my first entry for 2008. I should add a picture or something...maybe not. Lets not get too out of hand here.

I don't know if I mentioned before but I went to see Sweeney Todd when it came out and I love love love that movie. Johnny Depp is the sexiest murderer ever not to mention his vocal abilities. I cant wait to buy it. Now the only other thing I have to look forward to in life is the MB20 concert next month.

Until Next Time...