Monday, June 9, 2008

I cant sleep. I havent tried. Im drinking Heavy Metal. So what.

I drank tonight. I dont even like drinking. Its just not my thing. People do stupid things when they drink. Im not all the way sober, but if I keep typing you'll soon know the extent of my intoxication.

Life fucking sucks. Bad things happen to good people. Theres no such thing as fair. If youre happy something will ruin it for you. There no such thing as positive because everything that happens is pretty much the opposite. When good things do happen, if by some trip of the universe youre that lucky person, then something bad will soon follow. Everything comes with a price including happiness. I dont even think happiness exists. Its just something that keeps you smiling for a while then next thing you know youre down again. Its temporary just like life. Fuck it.

Im not a happy person. Im not sure why, its just the way it is. I dont look for happiness either. Shame on me huh? I figure why waste the time when ultimately youre going to let down. I've accepted that reality years ago.

Why the fuck are we here? I dont get it. I dont get why we have to go all out to go to school get a job have a family and all that shit just to die. It all just seems so pointless. I could do without the spaces in between, if you could tell me now what it means to be.

I shouldnt drink Im more depressing when I do.

Jessica.

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