Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mean What You Say.

Thought I'd stop in and jot a few words before I head out to work.

I have late hours this whole week. Meaning I dont get home until about 1am. I hate that I have to work late. I much rather work days and have my nights to myself...only in a perfect world. I should probably start looking for another job. I'll soon go crazy at the place Im at.

I was thinking about why I wanted to move out of Kansas City and I added it up to everything being so routine. I have the same days off, I've been at the same job for a while, seeing the same people where the same things happen. Then I come home to the same two people who always argure about the same things.

Im sick of 'same' Im ready for new and different.

I was on the phone with my friend (ENW) last night she just got back from Branson, Missouri and was telling me about her trip. Then she goes on to say,
"Next year you should come with us." I say,
"No, Im not interested in Branson."
"Jess! You never want to do anything."
"Yes I do, just not Branson."
"No you dont everytime I ask you to go somewhere you dont want to do it. You dont want to do anything. Youre bored with everything."
"So?"

I guess my not being motivated has stretched futher than I thought it did. Im not surprised. Plus she is a lot of talk not much walk so instead of enabling I just say no. On top of that if im not interested then I wont do it. Plain and simple. I will admit that Im a junkie for last minute spontaneous trips. If someone called me right now and told me they were going on a road trip, I'd pack my things in a heartbeat and wait at the door.

Once when ENW and I were out eating it was about two in the morning and I forget where we were before that, but out of nowhere she says lets drive up to NWMSU. (We have a friend up there.) I was all for it, but then I realized who I was talking to. She doesnt do spontaneous. She was just talking shit...as usual.

Heres what she likes to do:
-Lets go drive up to NWMSU after this!
-We both have a few days off and I have a full tank.
-You just got paid and I have some money.
-We havent seen CMJ in a long time.

So far so good...It continues.
-Im kind of tired, I hope I dont fall asleep at the wheel.
-I'll buy a monster. I should be fine, plus you'll be in the car too.
-I hope theres enough room in her dorm for us.
-Wait is he bf visiting? I dont want to go up there if her bf is there?
-Call her and see.

The ending...
-So he's not up there? Oh.
-What about her roommate, is she cool with it? (yes her bf is visiting though)
-Oh. Thats going to be too many people in that dorm room. (Its a dorm suit...plenty of room)
-I dont want to see her roommate's bf, plus Im kind of tired anyway maybe we can go next week.
-Or we can just wait until the next time she comes down.

As much as I love that girl I believe people shouldnt say things unless they mean it. I knew almost immeadiately after she said the first thing, that she didnt really want to go. Im not blaming her for not wanting to do something, shit I really dont care what she does...I just prefer people say what they mean and mean what they say. Plain and simple.

Im past the point in my life where talking about things is fun. Im older than that talk wont do for me anymore. I need actual walk. We're grown around here. Its time we start acting it. Make believe is for children.

So I guess todays lesson is mean what you say....Is that too much to ask??

Jessica.