Sunday, December 28, 2008
I love these moments, as I cannot seem to forget them, nor do I wish to. Enjoy.
"Whats wrong?" He asked in a husky voice, his beer scented breath invaded my nostrils.
"What is it that you are waiting for, specifically?" He said circling his fingers around my clothed nipple...I leaned into his hand.
"For you to fuck me, from behind." He backed away from me.
"How badly do you want me?"
Minutes before we were upstairs in the bathroom of a friends apartment. I was sitting on the sink with my fingers laced in his hair. He was grinding into me with his tongue down my throat...we left the party early.
"Really bad." He sat on the edge of the bed.
"Come here." I stood in front of him. He wedged his knee between my legs and reached up to unbutton my jeans. "Not nearly as bad as I want you." He motioned to the growing bulge of his jeans as he pulled my pants off taking my panties with them.
His fingers easily slid into my swollen folds. "Maybe I was wrong." He pulled his suddenly wet fingers out of me...gently brushing over my clit and placed them on his tongue closing his lips around them. My shirt was next to go...then his.
"Whats wrong now?" He asked standing to move behind me. I heard him unzip his pants...I heard him tear the foil...I heard my breaths quicken.
"I hate waiting." He moved closer to my ear. I felt him smile.
"Then bend over."
He lunged into me...a most enjoyable pain.
I swallowed back a moan. He wrapped one arm around my body so his fingers could expertly dance over my clit. While his other hand held my face to his. He kissed me roughly biting my lips causing me to moan out at the mix of pleasure and pain.
He never stopped thrusting into me...touching and stroking every place on my body.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
New Years is next and of course I have to work, but I get off at nine thirty, so I still have ample time to get out and party...we will see. Im not big on partying
I have been really wanting to go to Angels Rockbar or any bar in the District but again...we will see. I really want to do body shots. I can honestly say that I have never done that before.
I have a bad habit of not answering my cell phone...or any phone for that matter, I'm more of a text-er, but I live with two people who are third ring pick uppers. The person I've been avoiding called the land line and found me thanks to the third ring pick upper. There was an awkward conversation I was not ready to have. Oh well whats done is done.
I feel as though I have to censor myself. I do not like feeling like that. I want to say what comes to my mind in its rawest form. Usually I do, depending on the company, but lately I've been sugar coating things...for everyone. As I have said I don't like it, but then again I am afraid that people cannot handle it the other way. Is that even my problem? How they handle it should not be on my short list of things to care about.
I have started my new book. I think I am on the third chapter...didn't get very far, life got in the way, but so far so good. It starts off rocky, but I'll stick with it. Who knows maybe it'll surprise me...nothing else ever does.
Before I end this post I'd like to say Happy 21st CMJ...bottoms up! You know what they say, start with straight shots...body shots.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
This post will be pretty random, but no surprise there.
I am capable of caring about a person one minute and completely writing them off the next not caring at all what happens to them...loathing their entire being with venom on my tongue...without thinking twice and I am whole-heartedly fine with it...I mean that more.
Yesterday I cared, today I dont and probably wont for a while.
I bought a new book called the host. I didn't read the back of it, but I figured since I liked the author how bad can it be....we will see. I also bought a book for my lovely cousin, she is an avid reader as well. I wish more people took joy in reading.
I have been delving into the world that is Mark Twain...so far so good.
The thing I like most about the holidays is the family time, because for the few hours we are all in the same house nothing else matters except food and laughter. All troubles are aside.
It is safe to say that people only know about me what I let them know. No one really knows, most times I don't even know. I bring it up because I was having a conversation where the person I was speaking to assumed where I stood on a certain topic....well, I have been there and I have done that...twice...in three states.
This is my first Christmas without my grandma.
I am the type of person who falls for written words...I suppose that is why I love reading and even writing every now and then. I am a lover of the written word. I embrace any escape offered by it. Speaking of, I have been spending an awful lot of time here in the blog world.
I am becoming infatuated with reading the minds of strangers.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Earlier today I was having a sit down with my sister and she is more like me than I realized, which is not a good thing...for her....it works for me.
As of late she has been showing the whats the point mentality and I don't like it.
Recently she put herself out there and it didn't go over too well and she vows never to do it again for fear of it happening again....because well, whats the point?
I don't want her to close herself off. She is becoming negative about relationships and things of the like. I don't want that for her. I want her to know life...love and the ups, downs and lessons it has to offer. She is but 18, too young to think such things.
Monday, December 22, 2008
"Excuse me, How much does a Polar Bear weigh?"
"I don't know, I give up."
"Just enough to break the ice..."
I didn't see it coming, nor have I heard it before, but it was funny.
Im not sure what it was, but I liked how I felt in that moment....Maybe it was his refreshing attitude. Im sure there is a lesson here.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Welcome to adulthood...sorry, no jackets.
I was thinking that I need a change. A physical/environmental one rather than mental. I believed I've done all the mental changing and maturing allowed on my own...I cant explain that any better, though I'm sure there is a lot of maturing to be had on my part. I'm young.
I'm learning that it doesn't pay to be negative.
I am 21 and I am sleep deprived. I cannot sleep on my own...as in without assistance. Dark circles are trying to make their mark. I have a few days off, I am determined to sleep. If I cannot I will be spending a few days away from home to a land where sleep is in fact, possible.
As CMJ mentioned, tis the season for reading. Reading is my absolute favourite. I, not only welcome, but love love love the temporary escape from reality. I went shopping yesterday in hopes of finding a seemingly good book to indulge in...no luck, but all is not lost. The search continues today after work, if I have time as my Sunday seems to be full...and to my dismay at no point do I get to see Joe. How I miss thee. Let me count the ways....later.
Monday, December 15, 2008
His fingers were dipping in and out of me. I was squirming in my seat. I had to have him. The ride to his house seemed like a drive across country. I didn't want to wait. I crawled over to him.
I kissed the corner of his mouth then his neck. He was trying desperately to keep his eyes on the road. I straddled him.
"I missed you more." I whispered in his ear. I felt his whole body stiffen under mine. He took one hand off the wheel and lifted the back of my shirt. His hand slid up and down my back before stopping at the nape of my neck. He kissed me...deep and long. It was a few minutes before I realized that we were pulled over.
"Promise..To...Show...Me." He managed to say between kisses.
I shook my head. Not wanting to break our kiss.
He pulled my face from his, "Tell me."
"I promise." He kissed me again.
"Jessica, you have to stop because I wont. Unless...
I got off of him...reluctantly.
After what seemed like hours we were parked outside of his apartment. As soon as the keys were out of the ignition he was out the truck. He extended his hand towards me. I inched over to him and put my hand in his as he led me in the door and to his room. Closing and locking it behind him. He stopped with his back against the door.
I walked towards him and rested my hand on his chest. He grabbed my hand and kissed my fingers....something he does when his mind is clouded and words are lost. We stood in silence...until he scooped me up and laid me on the bed.
He climbed on top of me and kissed me. One of his arms was supporting his weight while the other strategically removed my t-shirt.
He was teasing me. He would kiss me deep then let up. His free hand played across my body...rubbing, caressing...massaging. I moaned into his mouth. Somewhere in my frenzy he removed his clothes...good...I hate waiting for him. He was on top of me again this time positioning his self for entry...He was taking too long.
"David." I whined, cutting him off and pulling him to me.
He eased into me and stopped letting me adjust to him. He put his arm under me and pulled me closer to his body then he started moving...just how I like it...always how I like it.
He grunted when I started contracting around him. He pulled me to the edge of the bed and his head disappeared between my legs. He was attacking my clit, mercilessly all while holding me in place.
He is my drug.
He came up smiling and lead me to the chair. He sat down then I sat on him with my back facing him. He whispered,
"Wait for me." I nodded.
Sweaty, we came together.
"Don't come outside like that again." He tells me.
My heart was pounding out of pure excitement. Its been a while since I've been pressed against his frame. Soon, very soon. I pulled on a coat, slipped on some boots and ran out the door.
There he stood. Leaning his back against the truck. His face half hidden by his hair. I love his hair. I stopped to take in his appearance. I must have been standing in place for a while because he came to me and picked me up in a hug.
"I've missed you." He said putting me down.
He smelled like Silver, though I'm sure it was another scent entirely.
He looked me up and then down, "Where are your clothes?"
"I just got out of the shower. Why? I don't need them do I?" I was wearing a big t-shirt.
He pulled me to the passenger side of his truck and insisted I get in. I did, it was cold. He got in and took my face in his hands and kissed me soft at first then urgent with need. It wasnt cold anymore, It was suddenly very hot...but he turned the heat on anyway.
To be Continued...
Saturday, December 13, 2008
That reminds me of a song called Sex & Candy...or I Smell Sex & Candy something or the other. I know Matchbox Twenty did a cover of it, so did Nirvana....What I wouldn't give for a little sex and candy with Rob Thomas. Mm Mm Mm.
I don't know what to do with myself. I'm usually at work on Saturdays.
I haven't seen my sister in a few days, which is not a bad thing. Im actually enjoying it.
Greys Anatomy was a re-run. Ugh! Speaking of Greys I heard T.R. Knight is planning on leaving the show because he is not getting enough air time. I'm not happy about this.
Friday, December 12, 2008
I am physically in love...a lover of the physical. I can describe it, hence it is. (For me)
He who loves the beautiful is called a lover because he partakes of it...with the implication that if those attractive habits change, so too does the relationship. Let it marinade.
I was thinking that most people who claim to be in love have a hard time putting in into words. That fact can be interpreted in one of two ways: Love cannot be examined or that something of that nature should not be examined because it just is...left beyond the minds reach as it were...beyond our intellectual capacity.
On the other hand when one presents the notion of being in love, conceptually speaking examination seems appropriate.
There is the chance that it is not complicated at all, maybe it shouldn't be held as high as it seems to be. There is a simple explanation for it all. Love is physical. It is nothing but a physical response to the one you're attracted. Physical motivation to the sexual impulse. It all comes down to self gratification whether one looks at it from the aesthetic view or the view of a geneticists.
If love is in fact physical then when a couple loses their sexual attraction to one another there is nothing left but obligations to that person if anything. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it is the same even if you don't believe love to be physical.
Whats the saying? 'Love is like food, sex is like eating food.' The two are hand in hand. Maybe love is physical first then the rest adds on, but again without the physical you have nothing.
Just some thoughts.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
I'm supposed to be going to the movies today to see Transporter 3. We will see if that happens. I'm not sure I feel like leaving the house, after all I do have school work I should be doing...then again I liked the other Transporter movies.
So I just heard news that in 2010 Johnny Depp is going to be playing the Mad Hatter in Alice In Wonderland....Perfect! Johnny Depp...So so fine. I can hardly wait.
Random Thought: I wonder if they still make VHS movies...Hmm.
I heard that the role of Tony in the 2009 Imaginariun of Dr. Parnassus would be played Heath Ledger and picking up where he left off would be Johnny Depp, Jude Law & Colin Farrell. Oo la la. That should be interesting. I hope it is not just a rumor. I am not opposed to the idea of having those men on one screen.
My friend and I made plans to go Christmas shopping this Saturday, which also happens to my my day off. It has been months since I've had a Saturday off. I'm excited, but no so much. I'll probably end up shopping for myself. Merry Christmas me.
Monday, December 8, 2008
I'm trying to get ahead in my assignments so as to not make the same mistake twice. There will be no repeats of the above. I am now headed toward the path of organization...Don't worry I'll be back one can only avoid the path of uncontrolled chaos for so long.
I hear snow is again in the forecast. That means cold gusty winds and dry skin. I know CMJ is looking forward to that.
It only feels like the holidays at work. At home it is just like the other months in the year. There is no Christmas tree here, no decorations, no Christmas lists for Santa...I like it this way. It is stress free. Every now and then someone...not me...will play a Christmas song, but that is pretty much the extent of the Christmas spirit around here.
My sister is on the swim team and she confessed to me that she hates it. I told her to quit she has no obligation there. She says, "That's what they want me to do." I laughed then then I thought... I don't understand her logic...if you don't like it don't do it. Plain and simple. On top of that its not doing any favors for her hair. Oh well.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
My friend keeps coming into town and I have yet to catch up with her. Oh well. I guess I'll see her summer break. Her twenty first birthday is coming up. I was excited, but then I realized that its really nothing special...nothing we haven't already done. I don't think drinking is really either of our thing, but I guess its good to have the law give the okay...just in case someone wants to get a little rowdy. What to get her...
Whats that about Vegas?
I am seriously slacking on my school work. It has been at least four days since I've even logged into the web site. I need to get on it. Ugh. Its funny really. I find time to blog, but yet I cant seem to get my work done. Priorities.
A few days ago I finished the Twilight series. It was good. I'm sad it had to end. Its back to reality I guess. I am now on the lookout for a new book to deprive me of sleep..food..water...and fresh air.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
This happened the day after his back brace came off, which was on for about two or three months.
"Lets wait a week." I knew he wouldn't go for it.
I was worried about his back. I knew for a fact that he was not ready for the sex he had in mind.
"Let me do the work. I dont want you to hurt yourself."
Pushing him back on the bed, I climbed on top of him. We were face to face. I could see the urgency in his eyes...I could also see that he was not going to let me control. There would be no teasing this night. I leaned down to kiss him. He growled at the contact and flipped us over. Within two seconds I was on the bottom and his mouth was heavy on my own, brusing my lips.
He slipped his hand around my waist and eased into me...slow and shallow...minutes later I came, biting down on his lip. It never takes much for my release...not to mention the level of arousal was increased by the wait.
He smiled and said, "Still want to wait?"
He pulled me to the edge of the bed and...thrusting slowly...he looked down with a lazy smile, "I have three ideas. Don't move."
He dropped to his knees.
His tongue started working rapidly over my clit. He wouldn't let up despite my tortured moans. He held my hips keeping me in his reach causing me to shuddered uncontrollably.
"Kiss me." I did. There are very few things I deny that man sexually. He was moving inside of me again, only this time with more need than before. We moved from the bed to the chair...from the chair to the desk.
Sitting in the chair in front of me he says, "That makes four." He put my hands on either of his shoulders and my feet on the arms of the chair. "Stay just like this." Once again his mouth was glued to my clit. His tongue was working circles while his teeth were biting me...all slow. It was the perfect balance of pleasure and pain...I was no longer in my right mind. I never knew pleasure like this. I started trembling he tightened his grip on me, but didn't stop.
His plan, it seemed was to kill me. I would die of too many orgasms...Orgasm overdose. Just as number five was completely taking over all of my senses, he winced...I was digging my nails into him. To avoid doing that a second time...I started to move my hands...Only to have them placed back on his shoulders, "Just like this."
I begged him to stop. It was too much. I was almost sure that I would die. He didn't stop. Instead he carried me back to the bed and fucked me. He fucked me like it was our last night alive...like he would never see me again...like his life depended on it...he fucked me.
Six/Two. He collapsed and moved to my side.
Breathless he speaks, "Are you ready to hear my three ideas?"
Thursday, December 4, 2008
I really really hate school. Its better than having to go on campus, but there is so much to keep up with and on top of that my printer is broken, which means there is zero organization. I'm almost positive that I'm going to accidentally miss a few deadlines. Ugh.
I finally got a new Mp3 player.
I love cold weather. I cant get enough of it. I especially like it when it snows. It snowed here a few days ago, then it melted.
I really hate my hair. I'm always wrestling with it. I'm this close to cutting it all off. It makes me angry.
Monday, December 1, 2008
I'm spiraling into a bottomless pit of anger. I think the 'true' meaning of Christmas has been forgotten by the majority. Today's meaning of Christmas is selfish its about gifts. People treat it like one big birthday party, but that's not where the anger comes from...in all honesty I couldnt care less, Im just saying.
As for the anger...that comes naturally, like breathing.
I'm on the fourth book in the Twilight series. I'm sad its almost over. I'm trying to make it last. I've never spent so much time on one book, unless it was school related...then I probably wouldn't have opened it...priorities!