Thursday, April 30, 2009


I have a big crush on this band....big. The lead singer is so sexy to me in a very inappropriate way. It cannot be helped.

I hear that Slash is going to be on the next week of Idol, which just so happens to be rock week. I'm excited about it. Adam will dominate! So will that chick, shes pretty good. While were on the topic I cannot believe that he was in the bottom two. WTF America. Get it together. Back to Slash..I love him on the Michael Jackson track Give Into Me.

Rob Thomas' new single is out. I love that man. I cannot wait until the album comes out. I hope he comes through here when he tours.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

One Of Those Things.

Its funny how much we let our lovers get away with. They are free to say things to us that we would never tolerate from any other. They do things to us that another person wouldn't be allowed to do. We let them in and keep them out all at once. There are some things we do with one person that we will never do with another.

'Do I have to ask you, or are you going to do it on your own?'

I knew what he meant...I always know what he means, so I did it. I opened my jeans and pulled them down over my hips.

'Unhook your seat belt and come over here.'

He freed one of my legs, draped it over his and slid his fingers inside of me...pulling them out periodically to place them on his tongue.

Later that night, he fucked me.

Random Crap.

Today I went to my sisters senior presentation. No one came save for me and our mother. I felt bad. On top of that she didn't get very good reviews. When the six...yes six teachers were giving their thoughts about her performance I wanted to stand up for her. She tried hard. She worked hard and now she'll have to do it over. Its not easy standing up in front of six teachers for twenty minutes watching them take notes on every little thing. It was like American Idol with a bunch of Simons. I think she did really well...and I'm not just saying that. To be fair I will say that she did get a few good comments, all of which were quickly followed by, 'but...'. She cried at the end. I know for a fact she did better than I would have done and I hope she will do better next time around.

Speaking of Idol, I love love love Adam Lambert. He is a fox. I dig his style.

I haven't been reading very many blogs or books as of late. That will change soon.

I need to start hanging out a little less with some of the people I know. They are starting to bug me. I need change. Some of them are sooo set in their ways and I don't get why a person wouldn't want to get out, experience life and try new things. Its weird. I'm surrounded by squares.

I figured out that the more someone else wants something the less it appeals to me.

I still haven't gotten the haircut I wanted. Saturday I will. If it sucks, it'll grow back. Oh well.

6'3 told me that the smell of rain turns him on. If I didn't like him before I most certainly like him now. He is something different. I like it.

I went to see The Soloist. I don't know if it was me being restless or if it was really two hours long, but it didn't seem like it was ever going to end. On the bright side the guys were great.

IHOP is gross.

How I feel towards relationships is a slug. (Sorry CMJ)

No matter how hard I try I'm afraid I'll never remember what happened Saturday night.

...Good times.

WW #53.

Questions by: Another Suburban Mom

1. Is there a particular smell that turns you on? If so what is it?
Silver cologne for that stuff.

2. Have you ever tried or considered trying a Master Cleanse type method to lose weight?

3. When you browsing a book store for reading material, do you find yourself checking out a book solely based on the cover design?
All the time. I cant read every cover in the store, so I pick out the interesting looking books and go from there.

4. Which 80's trend were you least happy to see come back this year; big shoulder pads or neon?
I cant say that I have seen either of those looks come back.

5. How long do you think could you disappear for until someone would notice your absence and start looking for you?
I don't think it would take very long...half a day maybe, but people are so wrapped up in themselves who knows?

6. Have you ever walked out of a movie and asked for your money back? Which movie(s) and why?
No, but I walked out of Semi Pro. That movie was HORRIBLE.

7. Have you ever changed your plans because of something you read in your horoscope?
I don't read my horoscope. Its not something that is important to me....Don't ask what is.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

TMI #184

1. Have you ever had angry sex?
Oh yes and it is the best. Ten stars. I recommend it.

2. Pity sex?

3. "Oh well, I might as well" sex?
The first two times with Lover. He was there, we were alone. I could see through his jeans and he asked. So why not?

4. One-of-you-knew-it-was-goodbye-and-the-other-didn't sex?
Yes. That was an awkward after moment.

5. Don't-remember-having-it sex?
Nope...Not yet. Did I mention I was going to Vegas??

6. Regret-it-afterward sex?
Yes. Moving right along.

7. Can't-remember-his/her-name sex?
No, but like I said...Vegas.

8. Never-knew-his/her-name sex?
Ha. Nope.

Bonus: What was the worst single sexual experience of your life?
Worst?...probably the time with the 39 year old...horrible!

Friday, April 24, 2009


They say when something in your life is stressing you out or just simply bothering you, you evaluate everything and delete the stressor. Well here's to evaluating...

1 Weather.
-This my biggest stress. I absolutely loath blazing heat. It puts me in a bad mood. Enough said.

2 School.
-What can I say about school. Its slowly sucking the life out of me. It seems like there is always something due. Is dominating my thoughts, which I guess is probably a good thing. If not school its something else entirely. In other words, school is getting me down. I wont delete it from my life. I understand fully the importance of it, but shit.

3 Tony Gonzales.
-I know this is a weird thing to be stressing about, but I am and its a fairly new development as it were. I just heard yesterday that the Chiefs traded him to the Falcons. Moment of silence........ I want to take this time out to I feel blindsided, really wasn't expecting that one. I can no longer support Tony since hes working for the enemy now.

4 Bills.
-Not much needs to be said here. We all know the feeling. Its just one after the other after the other. Then next thing you know its a new month....does it ever end?...Don't answer that.

5 The Flight.
-I'm not scared of flying, for Ive flown before. I'm worried for the three hours I will be without checking my emails. I am addicted to emailing. Its my favourite thing to do. Text messaging ranks next....yes I'm one of those people. At least I'll have my music.

6 Lover.
-When I'm back from Vegas we will be over. Ive decided that in this moment. Nothing good can come of us...not counting the amazing sex we have. I will miss his strong body against mine. I'll miss how effortlessly he carried me to every surface in his apartment. I will miss how he made sure I came more than twice, every time he touched me. He was a good ride...literally. I don't want it to seem like all we did was have sex. We were friends first for about a year or so, know how that goes. I honestly believe that he is a good man and he means well, he just is not yet ready for what he wants. the words of CMJ...moving on.

7 Work.
-I hate it. I hate doing it. I hate thinking about it. I hate the atmosphere. I hate the routine. I hate the people...not all just some.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

8 Random Things.

1. My hair frustrates me. I'm cutting it off...again. Pixie haircut here I come. It wont touch my neck...which I hate and my tattoos will show...bonus.

2. I finally got my piece of crap phone fixed. All of the buttons are in full function. No more texting in the shower....don't judge me.

3. I'm excited for Vegas. I need to buy a bikini. I'm taking the new guy with me. His fantasy is to fuck in a fitting room not only that, I just want him.

4. I hear that seventeen year old girls are now allowed to get the morning after pill without parental consent. Hmm.

5. I'm watching Lover sleep. He sleeps with a frown, not an angry frown. It looks more like he is in pain or thinking...or both. Where did I find him? He is more complex than most females.

6. I have a paper due tomorrow and I'm slacking majorly on it. Its not hard I just cant seem to focus...big surprise.

7. I love watching The View.

8. Who keeps telling Beyonce that she can act? Better yet who keeps casting her? They should all be fired.

Current Favourite...

Sunday, April 19, 2009


My cell phone... the new one, is breaking down on me. Already two of the buttons are no longer in service. It makes me angry. I have to get a new one and soon. Next month the Palm Pre comes out. Ive already mentally prepared myself for it so naturally I have to get it.

One of my resolutions...still haven't forgotten...was to to take a trip. Long story short Vegas here I come. Ive been hearing so many things like the do's and don'ts. How to get in vs where to get in. All of which I will forget in five doubt.

I ran into a wall a few days ago and I didn't notice I was 'hurt' until hours later. Now all of a sudden I have limited mobility in my hand. Is it just me or does nothing seem to hurt until you actually notice it?

I have been seeing more of Lover David. He is not how he used to be. It scares me. I don't know how to approach the subject yet, for fear of it having something to do with what he left behind years ago. He told me it wouldn't last forever, his sobriety, but I didn't think time would be up so soon. I always expect the worst.

Today is my cousins 19th birthday. Ahh to be young again. Sometimes I wish I could start over. I would do so many things differently.

Ive told 6'3'' of my fantasies. He asked. I was actually surprised that he asked. We've not broken the barrier of the sex talk yet. Anyways one of my fantasies takes place in a theatre (again). When we met up it was to see a movie. His response, "You know we were just in a theatre?" He shouldn't have said that. Now whats to stop me next time I see him?

The movie I cannot wait to see.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Idle Hands.

Ive been talking to a guy for about a month and a half and last night we finally met up. He is not my normal type. At 6'3" he is clean cut, good attitude and all. We went to the movies to see I Love You, Man. (Hilarious)

I wanted to move back the arm rest and straddle him in the theatre, but I didn't.

Why? I don't know...didn't want to come on too strong.

At the end of the night we hugged and went our separate ways.

Now this hug was not your normal see you later hug. He pulled me all the way into him, like Lover does. It was a brief five second chest smashing, pelvis touching hug, but I kept my hands to myself.

Why? I still don't know.

I guess its true what they say about idle hands being the devils play things.

Friday, April 10, 2009


Yesterday, I mentioned that the break was over, well I saw lover later that day. He reached for my hands. I put them behind my back. He stood closer to me. I stepped back. "You re cute when you do that. I wont let you do anything you don't mean to do." He grabbed my wrists and held them behind my back...slowly and deliberately he kissed me and said, "Soon." Then he left.

I don't want to be drawn to him anymore. I'm over it. Its like an addiction and I'm not exactly sure what it is I'm addicted to. The sex is great, but I don't think that's it. Its definitely not the conversation. He is not one for words. Maybe its the history. Maybe its the whole tortured bad boy persona. Ha. Whatever.

In other news, I want to go to Rock Fest, but I hear that it is sold out in my area...ugh. I'll probably have to work either way. I was invited by some guy I was talking to, but we had a falling out of sorts. I really wanted to fuck him. If I ever see him again...I will, no question.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Break Over.

Last night he called me.

He never just calls me, but he did that time. I thought something was wrong. I thought he may have needed to be bailed out or his temper got him into another fight or something crazy like that. I answered the call, something I never do, but I didn't say anything. He said, "Hey" then one specific memory came back to me.

I went to his apartment one day to pick up something from roommate Rob. I was not entirely sure he would be there. I walked in Rob, being the crazy person that he is, picked me up and threw me on the couch. As he and I were wrestling Lover steps out of the room and says, "Hey".

I stood up to greet him and I turned away. Before I could actually walk away from him he pulled me into his room and locked the door. I blinked.

When my eyes opened we were both naked and I was bent over his desk. He had one hand on my waist, the other was in my hair and I was begging him not to stop.

'Hey' was the only word he said that entire day.

Break over.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

WW #50

WW #50
Questions by: Aiden Church and Biz Brunette

1.) What condiment goes best with french fries?
I like them plain, but good old fashioned ketchup never gets old.

2.) What condiment do you feel best represents your personality?
Barbeque sauce because I like it. KC Masterpiece...try it.

3.) If the love of your life was a different religion from you, would you convert for them if they asked you to?
I'd consider it, but I wouldn't...only because I think its best to let people be who they are without changing them and how they do things.

4.) What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
Apples or Bananas...duh!

5.) If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Yea. I want to know how much I can fit into the time span, but then again...

6.) If you could change your eye color to anything in the world you wanted, what would you change it to?
As if the color of our eyes actually matter...Either way I cant see them. So no point, but for the sake of the question...My favourite colours are gray and black so either one of those will do.

7.) Are you more often the partner in crime or the good conscience with your friends and family?
I'm both depending on who I'm with. Certain people bring out different sides.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Random Thoughts.

If love smacked me in the face with a brick and left a permanent scar saying so for all to see...I'd still deny it.

I'm one of those people who gets bored with things, but I'm not one of those people who just sits around and complains about needing something new or whatever. I try to make it happen. I always have to change something be it rearranging furniture, getting a tattoo or colouring my hair. Something has to be new and different. Ive been thinking about getting my nipples pierced. I hear it hurts like fucking hell...its perfect. This is day two of me tossing this idea around in my head. Im going to justify it by saying: Think of all the off season beads I'd get.

As a personal rule and out respect for me and whomever else, I do not talk to married men with hopes or with intentions of doing something more than just talk. With that said Ive been talking to a married man. We are more like pen pals. Never met in person. Hes a really sweet guy & reminds me a lot of a guy who writes one of the blogs I follow. I bring him up because he told me that he was becoming attached to the idea of me....Weird. He also keeps asking me if I want to see his picture. I keep telling him no, but what does he do?? He sends me a picture. I don't want to talk to him anymore.

I know a guy, Rob the Roommate, who says the craziest things, doesn't matter where he is he'll say whatever he is thinking. The last time I saw him he told me, "I never notice what you're wearing because I'm always picturing you naked. Just take off your clothes, it'll be easier for the both of us." Surprisingly enough that works for some girls and I suppose it doesn't hurt that he is the quintessential tattooed bad boy. It certainly explains why he has a different chick every time I see him, but still wtf.