Monday, September 14, 2015

Not Proud Of This...

Sometimes I struggle with facing and expressing my emotions. It's like I can't comprehend them and I feel anxious or confused or confrontational when I'm forced to recognize and articulate them out loud. 

Due to this I can't help but feel like I'm not connecting with people in the way that I should be. Especially my husband. I want nothing more than to give him what he needs from me on a personal heart to heart level,  but sometimes I can't. I wish I could just talk to him the way I mean to...the way I want to, but it doesn't come out right. I know that it hurts us in the long run and I do want to change it, I'm just not sure how.

Even as I write this, I know how silly I sound because being that we are married I must open up to him in some way, right? I thought that too, but I do the bare minimum sometimes and I know it. I don't mean to.

I would definitely credit this problem to my last relationship. I wasn't expected to speak my emotions nor did I care enough to. I do know that I'm still a little fucked up from that one.

1 comment:

kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...

You sound like you're
highly intelligent, dear.
Follow us to the Great Beyond...

I'd looove to meet you
in Seventh-Heaven...
yet, you must get prepared:

Find-out what RCIA means... and join;
classes are free, starting September.
Aint no joke, earthling:
our indelible soul is on the line.
What's 77ish years compared to
the length N breadth of eternity?
What's the Tyranny of Progressivism
compared to the saving of our soul?

Doesnt make any difference
if you're an atheist;
doesn't make a whole-hilla-beans
wortha difference when you croak.
You'll be crying-out for JEEE-SIS!!!
...yet, if you've been a non-believer
your entire, finite existence,
Jesus maaay not hear you.
Billions of everlasting souls
are now in Hellfire without
the basic nessecities for eternity.
Are you actually willing
to take THAT risk of being condemned?

Again, Jesus laughs when you
should've learned the
meaning of wisdom N discernment,
mortal sinner... as am I.
Im not better than you...
yet, I gotta lotta d'knowlijj
which'll save-your-soul, kapiche??
Sorry for the New Yoirk accent.
Again, find-out what RCIA means.

Make Your Choice -SAW